Well Mario is going to be an endless runner. Pretty sure I called that like a year ago, So I got to thinking that I should start making some more predictions about other things so that in the future I could look smart again.
Then I realised that sounded like an awful lot of work, and I'm running low on coffee, so instead I've decided to just make a list of other Nintendo games that could be endless runners.
It's not a good list, it's probably going to make you angry, and quite frankly I don't know why I even put the effort into it. Ah well, you can read it if you'd like, I don't really mind.
Zelda
It's an endless runner, but you're Link. Or Zelda. Or Lady Link. No, actually you're Tingle. And everything else is Tingle. You're Tingle collecting Tingles to get more Tingles, jumping and sliding over Tingles as you do. I have a severe Tingle problem. Please send help.
Starfox
It's an endless runner, but you're in a spaceship. And there's a frog that's saying things at you. And you can do barrel rolls. I haven't played Starfox if I'm honest. Space scares me, it's so big. So very, very, very big.
Pikmin
It's an endless runner, but you're collecting all of the Pikmin. I'm pretty sure I've played Pikmin bit I don't really remember what happened. I think the Pikmin looked like little onions and that sort of made me happy. That's something though, yeah?
Donkey Kong
It's an endless runner, but you're a monkey. I think there are lots of different monkeys in the Donkey Kong universe, so there'll be lots of different monkeys to unlock. And there'll be a lot of bananas to collect, because monkeys love bananas. Donkey Kong is an ape isn't he?
Splatoon
It's an endless runner, but you're one of those kids from Splatoon. I haven't played Splatoon either. I think it's like a shooter but with paint? That sounds like the sort of thing that Nintendo would do. So you're running around shooting paint. For reasons. Perfect.
Pokemon
It's an endless runner, but you're Pikachu. Actually no, you're Snorlax. And you're not running you're just sleeping. Snorlax is the best of all the Pokemon because he's asleep all of the time. I'd like to be asleep right now. I'm sure you would too.
Animal Crossing
It's an endless runner, but you're Animal Crossing. I've not played that either. I'm so busy writing about other games I don't get a chance to play games. Er, Tom Nook? He's in Animal Crossing, right? Oh thank the Lord we've finished. Okay, you can leave now.
