I actually quite like the Gears of War franchise. Like, it’s pretty much my definition of a guilty pleasure, and one of the few things that might actually make me consider buying an Xbox One. I’m not going to, but at least I’m considering it.

Anyway, this frankly spectacular preamble is to lead us into the fact that Gears of War 4 came out yesterday. Or the day before. I haven’t really been paying attention if I’m honest.

Anyway you can’t play Gear of War 4 on mobile, because of reasons. But you can play some games on mobile that are a bit like Gears of War 4. Here’s a list of them. Enjoy it. Or don’t, that’s entirely your perogative.

Infinity Blade III

Oh fine sure whatever it’s not a third person cover based shooter. But it’s built in the unreal engine, it’s got lots of super heavily armoured people in it, and it’s got a story that is pretty much gibberish.

But there’s big stupid AAA fun to be had here. Lots of hacking and slashing and doing murders. There might not be any guns, but you don’t need guns to do big manly bits of slaughter.

Shadowgun

Shadowgun is probably the closest you’re going to get to any Gears of War game on mobile. It’s a big burly shooter featuring big burly men doing big burly things for reasons. And it’s chock full of guns as well.

There’s a multiplayer version of the game as well, but I decided to put the single player version on this list because I’m the one who is writing the list and I honestly don’t care whether you think I’m wrong.

Afterpulse

Afterpulse is the best multiplayer shooter on mobile. There, I said it. Come at me with your accusations of incorrectitude. I will shoot them all down. Like you do in Afterpulse.

Fast-paced blasting, tightly packed levels, and a control system that makes the whole thing run like a lovely smooth lovely smooth thing. If you’ve not played Afterpulse yet then you should. Thank me later.

Epoch 2

There are less manly men in Epoch 2. Mainly because everyone in the game is a robot. Robots are cool though, and you might not feel as bad shooting them to pieces as human beings. Detachment innit.

Still, even though there’s no gibs or gore, Epoch 2 is a solid enough shooter with a reasonably interesting slidey cover mechanic that’s not completely terrible. And not completely terrible is what we aim for around here.

Max Ammo

If you want to play a Gears of War game on mobile but you’re of a slightly more casual persuasion, then this is the one for you. It’s a smart reduction of the cover shooter, all presented in chunky lovely graphics.

Plus the star of the show is called Max Ammo. And I don’t know about you, but that’s the sort of name I’ve pretty much always aspired to. Maybe I’ll go and get my name changed right now. Max Ammo, out.