It’s Valentine’s Day. And we all know what that means. Other people are enjoying themselves, and you’re trapped in a cycle of gloom that means you’re probably going to die alone.

But is there anything you can do to break out of that cycle? Probably loads, yeah. But within the remit of AppSpy? Er, probably not, no. This is a mobile gaming site after all.

With that in mind, here is a list of games that you should play tonight to make sure that you remain alone for the rest of your life. You’re most welcome.

The Room Series

There’s nothing like the dank confines of a gloomy Victorian mansion to really destroy any chance you’ve got of ever smiling ever again. Sad, awful, and guaranteed to sink its claws into you for so long that you’ll likely never have to go outside again.

Progress to 100

If you’ve already got a significant other, but you want to get rid of them, then this is really going to help you out. Almost guaranteed to start an argument. It might not be about the game itself, it might be about someone dropping someone else’s expensive iOS device. Even better.

Spaceteam

And this one’s going to work in a similar way. You could even invite some other people over, and only listen to the things they say rather than what your significant other is saying. Nothing says it’s over like getting lost in space because you’re not paying attention.

Hearthstone

Let’s be honest, you’re going to need something to do to pass the time now you’re horribly alone. And Hearthstone is going to be perfect for that. You could easily lose your entire life to its incredibly refined card-chucking gameplay.

Monument Valley

I’ll be honest, Monument Valley is real pretty and sometimes it makes me wanna cry. So it might make you wanna cry as well. And you’re probably gonna have to have a cry every now and then to come to terms with your newfound loneliness.