So it's come to this.

I've played enough free-to-play games to comfortably drain the wallets of 100 committed thumb-jostlers.

I've flown futuristic hovercrafts. I've commanded armies to victory across the war-torn fields of feudal China.

I've explored uncharted regions of faraway galaxies, and unlocked alternative dimensions with a flick of my wrist.

Today, I helped Kim Kardashian choose a dress. She was so pleased that money literally popped out of her body and bounced along the boutique floor, upon which I scrambled to gather her casually discarded wealth like a grateful orphan chasing an abandoned crust of bread.

The video below documents this event, which was just one of many humiliating trials I had to undertake while playing the newly-released celebrity sim Kim Kardashian: Hollywood.